feat(sync-service): Clean up publication filters

[msfstef]

Closes #1774

This work started to introduce column filters (see #1831) but ended up on a road block because of us using REPLICA IDENTITY FULL - however the work also takes care of cleaning up filters.

• Introduced singular process for updating publication - we were locking on it before anyway, might as well linearise it ourselves.
• Process maintains reference counted structure for the filters per relation, including where clauses and filtered columns, in order to produce correct overall filters per relation
• Update to the publication is debounced to allow batching together many shape creations
• Every update does a complete rewrite of the publication filters so they are maintained clean - but also introduced a remove_shape call so that if electric remains with no shapes it should also have no subscriptions to tables.

TODOs

• Write tests for PublicationManager
• Write procedure for recovering in-memory state from shape_status.list_shapes in recover_shapes
• Split where clauses at top-level ANDs to improve filter optimality (suggested be @icehaunter ) - [edit: not doing this now, as we can be smart about this an do even more "merging" of where clauses like x = 1 and x = 2 to x in (1, 2) - separate PR]

[msfstef]

Regarding #1831 - we need to figure out when we need REPLICA IDENTITY FULL and make it so that it is only set when necessary (and column filters are removed in that case)

Once we determine if we can afford not to use REPLICA IDENTITY FULL at all times then we should be able to do column filtering easily with these changes.

[robacourt]

Nice work 👍

[msfstef]

benchmark this

[github-actions]

Benchmark results, triggered for f8edd

concurrent shape creation completed

OLD

NEW

[icehaunter]

Great job, and good tests. Coupld of nitpicks but feel free to ignore

[msfstef]

benchmark this

[github-actions]

Benchmark results, triggered for 8d697

• write fanout completed

• diverse shape fanout completed

• concurrent shape creation completed

• many shapes one client latency completed

• unrelated shapes one client latency completed