Editorial pass for style, clarity, grammar, punctuation, syntax, spelling, etc.

[decentralgabe]

So far up to section 5.

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Preview | Diff

[decentralgabe]

cc: @msporny posting early so we don't overlap. I'll continue on this ... feel free to add here to the same PR if you wish.

[msporny]

@decentralgabe This is great, I'll review and merge this weekend.

It's important that we don't stomp on each other, I'm still working through Sections 5, 6, and 7, so please don't make commits to those sections in this PR (if you do, there'll be a terrible amount of conflicts for both of us).

If you can take sections 8 and 9 next, that would be super helpful!

[msporny]

Suggested change

	are urged to prefer these credentials over ones that are not designed
	are urged to prefer these credential types over ones that are not designed

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	are urged to prefer these credentials over ones that are not designed
	are urged to prefer these [=credential=] types over types that are not designed

[msporny]

Suggested change

	signatures or proofs of any kind. These [=credentials=] are often
	signatures or proofs of any kind. These class of [=credentials=] are often

[TallTed]

Merged too quickly! Should have been either --

Suggested change

	signatures or proofs of any kind. These [=credentials=] are often
	signatures or proofs of any kind. These [=credential=] types are often

[TallTed]

-- or --

Suggested change

	signatures or proofs of any kind. These [=credentials=] are often
	signatures or proofs of any kind. These classes of [=credential=] are often

[TallTed]

-- or perhaps --

Suggested change

	signatures or proofs of any kind. These [=credentials=] are often
	signatures or proofs of any kind. Such [=credential=] are often

[msporny]

I provided a number of change suggestions, but other than those nits, LGTM.

THANK YOU for doing this top-to-bottom review; it gives me far more confidence that we have solid editorial coverage on a top-to-bottom read of the document.

[msporny]

Purely editorial, merging.

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	An ecosystem where one [=verifiable credentials=]
	An ecosystem where [=verifiable credentials=]

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	[=Credentials=] are integral to our daily lives; driver's licenses confirm
	our capability to operate motor vehicles, university degrees assert our level
	of education, and government-issued passports permit travel between countries.
	This specification provides a mechanism to express these sorts of
	[=credentials=] on the Web in cryptographically secure, privacy-respecting,
	and machine-verifiable way.
	[=Credentials=] are integral to our daily lives: driver's licenses confirm
	our capability to operate motor vehicles, university degrees assert our level
	of education, and government-issued passports attest to our citizenship when traveling between countries.
	This specification provides a mechanism to express these sorts of
	[=credentials=] on the Web in a cryptographically secure, privacy-respecting,
	and machine-verifiable way.

[TallTed]

This paragraph fully repeats the Abstract. That reads as an error, even if it is intentional (which I do not think it should be).

Suggested change

	[=Credentials=] are integral to our daily lives; driver's licenses confirm
	our capability to operate motor vehicles, university degrees assert our level
	of education, and government-issued passports permit travel between countries.
	This specification provides a mechanism to express these sorts of
	[=credentials=] on the Web in cryptographically secure, privacy-respecting,
	and machine-verifiable way. These [=credentials=] provide
	[=Credentials=] are integral to our daily lives: driver's licenses confirm
	our capability to operate motor vehicles, university degrees assert our level
	of education, and government-issued passports attest to our citizenship when traveling between countries.
	This specification provides a mechanism to express these sorts of
	[=credentials=] on the Web in a cryptographically secure, privacy-respecting,
	and machine-verifiable way. These [=credentials=] provide

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	It is currently difficult to express education qualifications, healthcare
	data, financial account details, and other third-party [=verified=]
	machine-readable personal information on the Web. The challenge of expressing
	digital [=credentials=] on the Web hinders our ability to receive the same
	benefits physical [=credentials=] provide us in the real world.
	It is currently difficult to express educational qualifications, healthcare
	data, financial account details, and other third-party-[=verified=]
	personal information in a machine-readable way on the Web. The challenge of expressing
	digital [=credentials=] on the Web hinders our ability to receive the same
	benefits that physical [=credentials=] provide us in the real world.

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	This specification standardizes a way of expressing [=credentials=] on the
	Web, ensuring they are cryptographically secure, privacy-respecting, and
	machine-verifiable.
	This specification standardizes a way of expressing [=credentials=] on the
	Web that ensures they are cryptographically secure, privacy respecting, and
	machine verifiable.

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	the classes of vehicle entitled to drive, or date of birth)
	date of birth, or the classes of vehicle they're qualified to drive)

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	Evidence demonstrating how the [=subject=] met the qualifications required
	for issuing the [=credential=] (for example, a measurement, proof of
	citizenship, or test result)
	Evidence by which a [=subject=] was demonstrated to have satisfied the qualifications required
	for issuing the [=credential=] (for example, a measurement, proof of
	citizenship, or test result)

[TallTed]

Suggested change

	physical [=credential=] represents. The addition of technologies, such as
	digital signatures, makes [=verifiable credentials=] more tamper-evident and
	physical [=credential=] represents. Adding technologies such as
	digital signatures can make [=verifiable credentials=] more tamper-evident and

[decentralgabe]

thanks @msporny !

@TallTed I'll incorporate your text into a follow up pr when i work on sections 8-9

[TallTed]

@decentralgabe -- Tag me when you're done. I should do my own top-to-bottom pass, and merge conflicts will be painful if we overlap.

[msporny]

@TallTed FWIW, I think both @decentralgabe and I are done w/ our pass on Sections 1-4; they should be stable and allow you to raise a PR (or commit to main) your editorial changes to Sections 1-4.