Handle deprecation of numpy.distutils

[dfm]

In #185, I set an upper limit on the allowed version of setuptools to handle the deprecation of numpy.distutils, but this will stop working in Python 3.12, I think, so we'll need to figure out what to do after that. We might be able to switch to scikit-build?

[dfm]

Or maybe meson since that's what scipy (and probably numpy) are switching to. Here's an f2py demo: https://numpy.org/doc/stable/f2py/buildtools/meson.html