refactor(orm)!: refactor hooks into validate and write hooks

[aaronc]

Description

Based on the issues uncovered in #11156, this separates hooks into validate and write hooks (proper write hooks didn't actually exist before). Write hooks are only called at the end of writing a batch of changes to the store and can't return an error.

In the .golden tests you can now see more clearly the boundaries between the start and end of write operations

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Author Checklist

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• included the correct type prefix in the PR title
• added ! to the type prefix if API or client breaking change
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• included the necessary unit and integration tests
• added a changelog entry to CHANGELOG.md
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• updated the relevant documentation or specification
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• confirmed the correct type prefix in the PR title
• confirmed ! in the type prefix if API or client breaking change
• confirmed all author checklist items have been addressed
• reviewed state machine logic
• reviewed API design and naming
• reviewed documentation is accurate
• reviewed tests and test coverage
• manually tested (if applicable)

[codecov]

Codecov Report

Merging #11185 (f6dc232) into master (4de7d40) will increase coverage by 0.15%.
The diff coverage is 87.27%.

@@            Coverage Diff             @@
##           master   #11185      +/-   ##
==========================================
+ Coverage   65.99%   66.14%   +0.15%     
==========================================
  Files         696      706      +10     
  Lines       71185    72523    +1338     
==========================================
+ Hits        46977    47969     +992     
- Misses      21309    21566     +257     
- Partials     2899     2988      +89     

Impacted Files	Coverage Δ
orm/model/ormtable/backend.go	74.00% <54.54%> (-3.28%)	⬇️
orm/model/ormtable/auto_increment.go	54.83% <75.00%> (ø)
crypto/types/compact_bit_array.go	78.45% <100.00%> (+0.11%)	⬆️
orm/model/ormtable/batch.go	69.56% <100.00%> (+1.87%)	⬆️
orm/model/ormtable/primary_key.go	48.57% <100.00%> (+1.51%)	⬆️
orm/model/ormtable/singleton.go	46.96% <100.00%> (ø)
orm/model/ormtable/table_impl.go	56.55% <100.00%> (+1.34%)	⬆️
db/rocksdb/batch.go	67.56% <0.00%> (ø)
db/adapter.go	0.00% <0.00%> (ø)
db/prefix/prefix.go	42.20% <0.00%> (ø)
... and 8 more

[technicallyty]

lgtm

[aaronc]

Would be great to get one more review here