release-25.1: sql: concurrent DML can prevent PK swaps from succeeding

[blathers-crl]

Backport 1/1 commits from #141189 on behalf of @fqazi.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

fixes #141528

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Previously, we added an optimization to skip re-resolving object metadata if no leased descriptors had changed. This change also leased descriptors to ensure schema changes couldn't progress, as otherwise we could corrupt data by writing incompatible information. While this resolved most failures associated with concurrent DML/DDL execution by leasing required descriptors, intermittent failures still occur if a primary key change happens. This is because we can end up using an old descriptor version, which results in DML not writing information into the temporary indexes. While there's no risk of generating a corrupt index because validation catches the missing rows, this bug can cause these schema changes to fail. To address this, this patch adds logic to ensure descriptor versions match; otherwise, the memo will be re-planned.

Fixes: #140475
Fixes: #140954
Release note (bug fix): Addresses a bug that could cause concurrent DML to prevent primary key changes from succeeding

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Release justification: low risk fix to address intermittent failures that can cause schema changes to fail

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

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[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is