port akka-persistence-jdbc changes in 5.2.x

[pjfanning]

https://github.com/akka/akka-persistence-jdbc/releases/tag/v5.2.0 - now available under Apache license because they were released over 3 years ago

v5.2.1 will be 3 years towards the end of Feb 2026.

Already done:

• Limit events by tag query ordering sizes #380
• use nvarchar instead of varchar for sql server #382

I think this covers the useful changes for v5.2.0 but v5.2.1 has 1 or 2 more.