Bring CI under two minutes

[RhysSullivan]

What changed

• replace hash-based e2e sharding with deterministic duration-balanced planning across 16 cloud, 10 self-host, and 2 local lanes
• isolate long e2e files, preserve full coverage, and keep scenario retries disabled
• run independent package tests immediately on a 16-vCPU runner with bounded nested Vitest workers
• stop PGlite teardown from changing green or red Vitest outcomes, with real child-process regressions for both states
• keep the real 65-second approval delay in its own shard and retain the deterministic 15-minute lease-boundary test
• remove the unnecessary public pending-approval helper added during the optimization
• avoid per-shard system-package upgrades and use exact-lock Bun/package plus Playwright browser caches to stabilize setup

Why

The previous required CI critical path was 5m44s, dominated by a 286-second self-host shard and a package-test dependency waterfall. The cloud test process could also print failures while returning success because PGlite teardown changed its exit code.

Validation

• previous full CI runs on this branch: 1m58s and 1m44s, 35/35 jobs green with retries disabled
• full monorepo typecheck: 44/44 tasks
• lint and formatting
• 38/38 unit-test tasks from a cold local Turbo run
• real cloud approval pause/resume e2e: 65-second delay, 83-second local suite
• deterministic 15-minute approval-window boundary test
• PGlite global-setup child regressions: green exits 0 and red exits 1
• 13 shard-planner tests, including exactly-once discovery and workflow-matrix synchronization
• workflow YAML parse and diff checks

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