Adopt Marten 9.14.0+: implement external-coordinator active catch-up for managed event-subscription distribution (Marten #4904) #3349

Blocker found while bumping deps (#3348)

Marten 9.13.0-stable and 9.14.0 hang Wolverine's daemon catch-up under
UseWolverineManagedEventSubscriptionDistribution. These MartenTests.TestHelpers tests time out:

• catch_up_when_using_wolverine_distribution (main + ancillary store)
• catch_up_then_restart
• second_stage_waiting
• catch_up_and_then_do_nothing

Only the currently-pinned 9.13.0-alpha.4 passes, so #3348 keeps Marten at alpha.4.

Root cause

Marten #4904 (shipped in 9.14.0) intentionally changed
ForceAllMartenDaemonActivityToCatchUpAsync so that when the store is
DaemonMode.ExternallyManaged (what Wolverine-managed distribution uses) it no longer drives
Stop→CatchUp→Start. Instead it degrades to a read-only WaitForNonStaleDataAsync wait, to avoid a
ProgressionProgressOutOfOrderException race where both Marten's forced catch-up and Wolverine's
externally-owned agent advance the same mt_event_progression row. Marten's own comment:

The proper active-quiesce — the external coordinator suspending agent assignment during a forced
catch-up — lives in that external coordinator, not here; tracked on #4904.

Wolverine's PauseThenCatchUpOnMartenDaemonActivity (src/Persistence/Wolverine.Marten/TestingExtensions.cs)
pauses the daemons and then relies on ForceAll to drive them forward. Under 9.14.0 the call just
waits; the paused agents never advance; it blocks until the tracked-session timeout.

What Wolverine needs

Implement the "external coordinator" active-quiesce catch-up that Marten #4904 punted to us — most
likely on WolverineProjectionCoordinator:

1. Suspend Wolverine agent assignment/reassignment for the store's subscription agents.
2. Force those agents (which Wolverine owns) to catch up to the current high-water mark.
3. Resume normal assignment.

Then update PauseThenCatchUpOnMartenDaemonActivity (and any production catch-up path) to use that
coordinator-driven catch-up under managed distribution instead of Marten's now-passive ForceAll.

Once done, bump Marten to 9.14.0+ and re-run the catch-up suite.

Repro

Check out #3348 with Marten pinned to 9.14.0 (or 9.13.0 stable) and run:
dotnet test src/Persistence/MartenTests/MartenTests.csproj --framework net9.0 --filter "FullyQualifiedName~TestHelpers.catch_up_when_using_wolverine_distribution"
— fails (TimeoutException) on 9.14.0/9.13.0-stable, passes on 9.13.0-alpha.4.