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DESIGN

I have a project idea. The world's worst programming interview process. You have people enter their credentials but not any previous work. You bar candidates from discussing any previous work under the guise of being non biased and avoiding ip issues. You then take all their information which was entered through a dark patterns ui process and seed a prng with it. If you have a friend who referred you your prng is 0.5. If you don't, it's 0 but we'll pretend it's 0.4.

It will be written in unescaped PHP from 10 years ago. It will require a hand drawn self portrait so we can judge you on your fine motor skills, gender, attractiveness. We will call that culture fit

For the coding challenge you have to either solve any Clay Institute math problem on the spot, write the MD5 hash algorithm on the first try, or explain why inter-universal techmuller theory is correct.

Random ideas

  • Ask interviewee's gender & race to eff them up right from the get go - it's called Stereotype Threat. Here's the article.

  • Must authorize browser history sharing

  • Checkboxes, but each checkbox also toggles one or more other checkboxes

    • No radio buttons anywhere on the site, they must all be scrolling multi-select dropdowns

  • Authorize Wells Fargo and only Wells Fargo.

  • Must send a minimum 50 photo album of your last vacation.

  • Must send photos of yourself, spouse, children, and pets.

  • If you don't get in, it returns a 404 page. For the rest of your session. Or eternity, if we keep an infinite cookie.

  • Funny terms & conditions page

    • Quiz at the end of the terms & conditions page?
    • Final disclaimer on T&C page: this T&C is null and void in all jurisdictions

  • Screening interviews via first reddit AMA then chat roullete.

  • Captcha, but it's one of those dotted colorblindness images

  • Require instagram oauth.

  • Search Megan's law ca.gov for offender.

  • If offender post to Instagram screenshot of megan's law search results.

  • Send link to CA.gov which will incur offender $1000

  • Drugs test - mail to piss with live stream of the stream. Pee directly on trackpad.

  • 404 screen at end, leads to BSOD psych (full screen) when user mouses out of page.

Coding Challenges and Questions

  • One coding challenge only succeeds if some line of code fails to compile

  • Very specific fizz-buzz the "right way".

    • implement one line fizz-buzz in Perl?

  • Part of the coding challenge has to be done by virtual whiteboard

    • Drawing on Canvas with mouse
    • Half of the points require correct manual syntax highlighting

  • One coding challenge switches languages halfway through

  • Build a truly random number generator.

  • Stella's linear algebra homework problem (screenshot)

  • One screen alternates between light and dark mode on every keypress

  • Must complete a circus challenge and upload video to youtube.

  • Languages to consider:

    • Basic
    • CSS
    • Perl
    • Scratch
    • Befunge
    • Lojban
    • Brainfuck

Reddit Questions

While I've no problems with adverts on social media, I do have a problem with political propaganda. Have you had any interactions with political 'advertising' and how do you feel about it?

I have a 70 year old friend who is trying to learn the basics of digital advertising via FB and Instagram. I have set up accounts and taught him how to tag and plug his small business (yacht charter). What are some resources I can point him toward online to learn to do more (YouTube/website etc)?

Is there anything you miss about leaving the house?

What is the process for getting the NEETbux?

Are you a time traveler that thinks this is 1997?

Pancakes or Waffles?

Is your sister hot ?

Can you explain what that sentence means so I don't have to go google it?

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?

If you're still a virgin at age 24 will you be proud of yourself or mad at yourself?

Do Swiss farmers still practice transhumance?

Can you yodel?

Do you think you could jump higher than me?

How much can you deadlift using your beard?

Should someone wanting to understand your music learn some Jazz-theory?

How exactly does jewelry work in this universe?

How was it getting high on camera on Getting Doug with High?

What advice would you give to a pianist interested in composing their own music?