stream: 'error' should be emitted asynchronously

[ronag]

errorOrDestroy emits 'error' synchronously due to compat reasons. However, it should be possible to use correct async behaviour for new code.

Fixes: #29741

Checklist

• make -j4 test (UNIX), or vcbuild test (Windows) passes
• tests and/or benchmarks are included
• documentation is changed or added
• commit message follows commit guidelines

[nodejs-github-bot]

CI: https://ci.nodejs.org/job/node-test-pull-request/25748/

[Trott]

@nodejs/streams

[Trott]

Added dont-land- labels for all supported release lines since this depends on a semver-major that won't be ina release until 13.x.

[Trott]

Revert landed, but this fix can go into the original PR.