theo.tcl

# theo.tcl --
#
#       theo.c implementation for Tcl.
#
#
# Copyright (c) 2019 Kamil Rytarowski <kamil@NetBSD.org>
# All rights reserved.
#
# Redistribution and use in source and binary forms, with or without
# modification, are permitted provided that the following conditions
# are met:
# 1. Redistributions of source code must retain the above copyright
#    notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer.
# 2. Redistributions in binary form must reproduce the above copyright
#    notice, this list of conditions and the following disclaimer in the
#    documentation and/or other materials provided with the distribution.
#
# THIS SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED BY THE NETBSD FOUNDATION, INC. AND CONTRIBUTORS
# ``AS IS'' AND ANY EXPRESS OR IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED
# TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR
# PURPOSE ARE DISCLAIMED.  IN NO EVENT SHALL THE FOUNDATION OR CONTRIBUTORS
# BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, EXEMPLARY, OR
# CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, PROCUREMENT OF
# SUBSTITUTE GOODS OR SERVICES; LOSS OF USE, DATA, OR PROFITS; OR BUSINESS
# INTERRUPTION) HOWEVER CAUSED AND ON ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY, WHETHER IN
# CONTRACT, STRICT LIABILITY, OR TORT (INCLUDING NEGLIGENCE OR OTHERWISE)
# ARISING IN ANY WAY OUT OF THE USE OF THIS SOFTWARE, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE
# POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.
#

package require Tcl 8.5

# theo --
#
# Return a string with a random quote from OpenBSD's src/usr.bin/mg/theo.c.
#
# The quotes are copied from the last revision of theo.c CVS r.1.152.
# The OpenBSD project removed theo.c on 16 Sep 2016.
#
# Arguments:
#
# none
#

proc theo {} {
    set quotes {
        {Write more code.}
        {Make more commits.}
        {That's because you have been slacking.}
        {slacker!}
        {That's what happens when you're lazy.}
        {idler!}
        {slackass!}
        {lazy bum!}
        {Stop slacking you lazy bum!}
        {slacker slacker lazy bum bum bum slacker!}
        {I could search... but I'm a lazy bum ;)}
        {sshutup sshithead, ssharpsshooting susshi sshplats ssharking assholes.}
        {Lazy bums slacking on your asses.}
        {35 commits an hour? That's pathetic!}
        {Fine software takes time to prepare.  Give a little slack.}
        {emacs on the vax}
        {Just a minute ago we were hugging and now you, guys, do not love me anymore}
        {I'll let you know when I need to floss my teeth}
        {If you can't figure out yourself, you're lacking some mental faculties}
        {I am just stating a fact}
        {blah blah}
        {i'd love to hack, but i can't}
        {Wait, yes, I am on drugs}
        {during release it is a constant.  almost noone helps.}
        {i let you guys do whatever you wanted}
        {you bring new meaning to the terms slackass. I will have to invent a new term.}
        {if they cut you out, muddy their back yards}
        {Make them want to start over, and play nice the next time.}
        {It is clear that this has not been thought through.}
        {avoid using abort().  it is not nice.}
        {if you do not test that, you are banned from editing theo.c}
        {That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in the last two or three minutes!}
        {I'm not just doing this for crowd response. I need to be right.}
        {I'd put a fan on my bomb.. And blinking lights...}
        {I love to fight}
        {I am not concerned with commit count}
        {No sane people allowed here.  Go home.}
        {you have to stop peeing on your breakfast}
        {feature requests come from idiots}
        {henning and darren / sitting in a tree / t o k i n g / a joint or three}
        {KICK ASS. TIME FOR A JASON LOVE IN!  WE CAN ALL GET LOST IN HIS HAIR!}
        {shame on you for following my rules.}
        {altq's parser sucks dead whale farts through the finest chemistry pipette's}
        {screw this operating system shit, i just want to drive!}
        {That is the most stupid thing I have heard all week.}
        {Search for fuck.  Anytime you see that word, you have a paragraph to write.}
        {what I'm doing [...] is hell. it's kind of fun.}
        {Yes, but the ports people are into S&M.}
        {Buttons are for idiots.}
        {We are not hackers. We are turd polishing craftsmen.}
        {if ya break cvs, we hunt ya and break yer legs}
        {who cares.  style(9) can bite my ass}
        {The argument is totally Linux.}
        {It'd be one fucking happy planet if it wasn't for what's under this fucking sticker.}
        {noone is gonna add that thing to theo.c?  wow, i'm stunned.  no henning?}
        {I would explain, but I am too drunk.}
        {Take a picture of my butt, it's what everyone wants.}
        {you slackers don't deserve pictures yet}
        {You guys are about four days behind on theo.c}
        {I'm just talking.}
        {Vegetarian my ass}
        {Wait a minute, that's a McNally's!}
        {Your connection is breaking up.}
        {germans are not allowed to get involved there}
        {gprs sucks camel dick dryer than the gobi desert}
        {I AM NEVER SATISFIED}
        {don't they recognize their moral responsibility to entertain me?}
        {#ifdef is for emacs developers.}
        {Many well known people become net-kooks in their later life, because they lose touch with reality.}
        {You're not allowed to have an opinion.}
        {tweep tweep tweep}
        {Quite frankly, SSE's alignment requirement is the most utterly retarded idea since eating your own shit.}
        {Holy verbose prom startup Batman.}
        {Do you think you are exempt from COMPILING BEFORE YOU COMMIT}
        {I want to be REALLY COOL just like all the other developers!}
        {I don't know what you are talking about.  Please tell me what you are talking about.}
        {I avoid helping people who refuse to learn how to help themselves.}
        {Any day now, when we sell out.}
        {And there you have it.. the distinction between those people who are OpenBSD develepers and those who will never be able to be...}
        {I don't mean this applies to everyone, but is there a high quantity of attention deficit disorder in our user community?  Or retards?}
        {Have you been living in a cave, or are you just being a jerk?}
        {If you want it, go do the stinking work yourself.}
        {A burp means less gas later}
        {optimism in man kind does not belong here}
        {First user who tries to push this button, he pounds into the ground with a rant of death.}
        {we did farts.  now we do sperm.  we are cutting edge.}
        {the default configuration is a mixture of piss, puke, shit, and bloody entrails.}
        {Stop wasting your time reading people's licenses.}
        {doing it with environment variables is OH SO SYSTEM FIVE LIKE OH MY GOD PASS ME THE SPOON}
        {Linux is fucking POO, not just bad, bad REALLY REALLY BAD}
        {openbsd development is slow because lots of developers have shrunken balls}
        {penguins are not much more than chickens that swim.}
        {i am a packet sniffing fool, let me wipe my face with my own poo}
        {they are manual pages, not tea time chit-chats}
        {Whiners.  They scale really well.}
        {in your world, you would have a checklist of 50 fucking workarounds just to make a coffee.}
        {for once, I have nothing to say.}
        {You have no idea how fucked we are}
        {You can call it fart if you want to.}
        {wavelan is a battle field}
        {If you don't know what you are talking about, why are you talking?}
        {You are in a maze of gpio pins, all alike, all undocumented, and a few are wired to bombs.}
        {And that is why humppa sucks... cause it has no cause.}
        {cache aliasing is a problem that would have stopped in 1992 if someone had killed about 5 people who worked at Sun.}
        {Don't spread rumours about me being gentle.}
        {If municipal water filtering equipment was built by the gcc developers, the western world would be dead by now.}
        {kettenis supported a new machine in my basement and all I got to do was fix a 1 character typo in his html page commit.}
        {industry told us a lesson: when you're an asshole, they mail you hardware}
        {I was joking, really.  I think I am funny :-)}
        {the kernel is a harsh mistress}
        {Have I ever been subtle? If my approach ever becomes subtle, shoot me.}
        {the acpi stabs you in the back.  the acpi stabs you in the back. you die ...}
        {My cats are more observant than you.}
        {our kernels have no bugs}
        {style(9) has all these fascist rules, and i have a problem with some of them because i didn't come up with them}
        {I'm not very reliable}
        {I don't like control}
        {You aren't being conservative -- you are trying to be a caveman.}
        {nfs loves everyone}
        {basically, dung beetles fucking.  that's what kerberosV + openssl is like}
        {I would rather run Windows than use vi.}
        {if you assign that responsibility to non-hikers I will walk over and cripple you now.}
	{i ojbect two yoru splelng of achlhlocis.}
	{We have two kinds of developers - those that deal with their own shit and those that deal with other people's shit.}
	{If people keep adding such huge stuff, soon mg will be bigger than emacs.}
	{this change comes down to: This year, next year, 5 years from now, 10 years from now, or Oh fuck.}
	{backwards compatibility is king, and will remain king, until 2038.}
	{I don't know if the Internet's safe yet.}
	{Those who don't understand Unix are condemned to reinvent Multics in a browser}
	{Don't tell anybody I said that.}
	{Complaint forms are handled in another department.}
	{You'd be safer using Windows than the code which was just deleted.}
	{Shit should not be shared.}
	{the randomization in this entire codebase is a grand experiment in stupid}
	{My mailbox is full of shock.}
	{my integer overflow spidey senses are tingling.}
	{I'm just trying to improve the code...}
	{It's a pleasure to work on code you can't make worse.}
	{It's largely bad style to do (int)sizeof}
	{When I see Makefile.in, I know that "in" is short for "insane".}
	{This is the beer. And that's why we need a hackathon.}
	{Kill the past with fire, and declare Duran Duran is less cool today.  Await remixes of the same thing performed by new talent.}
	{Where did my "fuck backwards compat" compatriots go?}
	{I want a new vax, one that's not so slow.}
	{This sausage is made from unsound meat.}
	{The people who wrote this code are not on your side.}
	{Well finally everyone can see that the shit is really shitty.}
	{All that complexity stopped us from getting flying cars by today.}
    }
    return [lindex $quotes [expr {round(rand() * ([llength $quotes]-1))}]]
}


# -------------------------------------------------------------------------

package provide theo 0.0.1

# -------------------------------------------------------------------------