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However, make sure that what you love doing doesn’t harm others. Differentiate what you love doing from unhealthy addictions.
We are what we do and doing what we love makes us happy.
If possible try learning something new everyday. The yearly compound growth of this habit will make you a far better person every year.
Books, audiobooks, podcasts, projects and listening to smart people.
This is how we truly grow, making that uncomfortable feeling going away because that which was hard is now easier.
Always keep your room, dwelling, house, office, car, workplace clean and ordered.
You will feel better, more productive, happy and less prone to sickness, depression, demotivation.
An orderly life means more time available.
When you do, explore the geography, learn the history, the culture, the language, the food, get out of your comfort zone.
I promise you will grow and learn things you wouldn’t otherwise in any school, also you will not forget these lessons.
When you come back home you will be more aware of that which you have just experienced and it will make your own city a place with more things to offer, you will be able to relate to more people, you will be less judgmental, you will join the dots with your increased vocabulary and taste, there will be more restaurant options to eat from, and you will be able to mix the different cultures/foods, life will be much better after more travel.
When someone acts in a very different way, perhaps even stupid or irrational, be empathetic and try to think what their journey has been or if they have mental health issues causing such behaviours.
Know that everyone has a different upbringing, that not everybody was raised with the love and support you were so lucky to receive, or that perhaps they received even more love and support than you have.
There are also different levels of empathy people can feel/act out, for instance, autism is a big spectrum and when somebody seems like an asshole, perhaps they are somewhere on the less empathetic spectrum of it. This is very common among engineer/system types of people and uncommon among people-people who are very in tune with other people’s feelings and needs.
Ultimately, yes, there are toxic people that you must push away from your life before they hurt you further.
This also applies to intellectual quotients, what may seem obvious to you might be really hard to comprehend for the majority of people towards 2/3rds of the normal curve. The same goes for the people ahead of you on that curve, what you can’t easily comprehend it’s a no brainer for others, be humble.
Make sure you have read Harari, Kahneman, The Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe. Try to understand as much as you can how individuals and large groups of people think and have reacted in the past.
Learn about the history of the world, europe and its wars, capitalism, socialism and communism and their consequences, their virtues and flaws, learn about religion and the stories people believe in.
Losing a loved one is distinct from other adversities you may encounter in life. Most people have a variety of coping mechanisms to handle setbacks, but when someone passes away, there’s nothing you can do to bring them back.
Grief is completely rational. Your loved one probably didn’t want to die, and you feel empathy for them. Your life may feel diminished without them; you are reminded of your own mortality. There’s no silver lining here.
Acceptance of your new reality without them is the only path forward. This doesn’t mean you should suppress your emotional response; it means recognizing that your emotions are a normal, valid response that you should accept and feel as fully as you’re capable.
People are often reluctant to talk about the deceased for fear of awakening negative emotions. However, discussing them should not be avoided; if you want to talk about them, do it.
If you’re fortunate to have people in your life who care about you, they’ll likely try to offer comforting words. These may come across as meaningless platitudes or religious sentiments, but even if the words themselves don’t help, the fact that people are trying should provide some comfort.
In my experience, grief doesn’t fully fade but can become akin to an old injury. You can usually avoid feeling much pain, but it will return occasionally. You’ll be able to handle it.
Opportunities are a double-edged sword. While having access to more resources and advantages can be a great gift, it can also lead to complacency and a lack of grit. My kids are lucky enough to have everything I didn’t growing up. However, having it all can sometimes take away the drive and hunger to strive, to overcome.
Growing up with needs and wants that weren’t easily fulfilled made me more resilient. That disadvantage was the reason I developed grit—the ability to persist and fight through challenges.
Remember that discomfort and challenges are necessary for growth. Hardship builds the character, creativity, and perseverance needed to truly succeed. If you’re always in a position of comfort, you may miss out on the chance to develop these critical life skills.
Learn to find grit even when life is easy. Challenge yourself, seek out difficult experiences, and remember that adversity is what truly prepares you for the future.
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