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Mitch Hedberg quotes (#2721)
* added quotes from Mitch Hedberg * added quotes from Mitch Hedberg
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doc/quotes/quote.md

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@@ -16,4 +16,6 @@ Faker::Quote.robin #=> "Holy Razors Edge"
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Faker::Quote.singular_siegler #=> "Texas!"
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Faker::Quote.yoda #=> "Use your feelings, Obi-Wan, and find him you will."
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Faker::Quote.mitch_hedberg # => "I like Kit-Kats, unless I'm with four or more people."
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```

lib/faker/quotes/quote.rb

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@@ -106,6 +106,19 @@ def yoda
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def fortune_cookie
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fetch('quote.fortune_cookie')
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end
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##
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# Produces a quote from comedian Mitch Hedberg.
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#
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# @return [String]
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#
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# @example
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# Faker::Quote.mitch_hedberg # => "I like Kit-Kats, unless I'm with four or more people."
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#
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# @faker.version next
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def mitch_hedberg
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fetch('quote.mitch_hedberg')
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end
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end
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end
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end

lib/locales/en/mitch_hedberg.yml

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en:
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faker:
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quote:
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mitch_hedberg:
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- An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You should never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order' sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience'.
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- I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
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- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
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- I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
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- I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
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- Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
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- My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
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- My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
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- I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
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- I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
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- I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time.
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- Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
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- Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
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- I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
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- I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
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- This shirt is dry clean only. Which means it's dirty.
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- If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
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- The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
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- I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
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- I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
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- Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
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- I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
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- I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
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- I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
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- I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
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- I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
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- My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
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- I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.
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- If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
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- I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.
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- People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
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- I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.
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- It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.
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- I like Kit-Kats, unless I'm with four or more people.
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- Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
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- I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.
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- When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
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- I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
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- Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.
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- I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
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- I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
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- You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

test/faker/quotes/test_faker_quote.rb

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@@ -38,4 +38,8 @@ def test_yoda
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def test_fortune_cookie
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assert_match(/\w+/, @tester.fortune_cookie)
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end
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def test_mitch_hedberg
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assert_match(/\w+/, @tester.mitch_hedberg)
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end
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end

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