This article was not written by me — I just found it funny and useful to show others how not to do things, which is easier sometimes than showing them what to do.
A lot of the specific exploits shown in this article have been fixed in newer versions of the language or platform that they were written against when this was originally authored. That being said, my intention is not to address the validity of any of these specific approaches. The humor is in the general idea of abusing a language or platform, not that you can still feasibly do it in the exact same way that is written here.
I'm not going to update this for new tools and systems. Writing unmaintainable make files could easily be enhanced with plenty of techniques to write slow, ugly, and buggy grunt tasks, but this is here to serve as an easy to search version of the original. If you'd like to do that, fork this and start over. I have been told by the original author that they are only interested in that you credit the original work, and link to it in your version.
I will accept pull requests that make the original article easier to read using markdown. This includes general formatting and typo fixes.