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<h1>Dear internet:<br>My mom is tired of your shit.</h1>

<h1>She can't understand your website and it isn't her fault.</h1>

<h1>It's time we talked.</h1>

<p>My mom will review your website. We'll send you a screencast, with some motherly UX advice.</p>

<p><i>Get in touch for pricing and availability. <a class='website' href="mailto:richard@theuserismymom.com">Email us</a>.</i></p>

<hr style="width:30%;margin-top:20px" />

<p>My mom tutors high school students and likes quilting and hiking. She yells at her computer, doesn't know what a twitter is, and struggles to find windows she's minimized.</p>

<p>You should design for users who are unlike you. If they can't understand your site or read it with ease, they will struggle and give up.</p>

<p>Your mom loves you too much to give you honest feedback. My mom thinks you're probably a lovely person, but may not like your work. She'll try to use your website and tell you how she really feels.</p>

  <hr style="width:30%;margin-top:20px" />

<p>As seen on:</p>
  {% for press in site.data.press %}
      <span class="img-container">
        <a href="{{ press.url }}" title="{{ press.title }}">
          <img src="assets/press/{{ press.image }}" class="card-image">
        </a>
      </span>
  {% endfor %}

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<hr style="width:30%;margin-top:20px"/>

<p>FAQ:</p>

<p> • <b>Who are you?</b> <i>I'm Scotty, an entrepreneur and developer. Here's my <!-- <a class='website' href="http://scottyallen.com">website</a> and my --> <a class='website' href="https://twitter.com/scottyallen">twitter</a>.</i>

<i>Richard is a UX professional and developer. Here is his <a class='website' href="http://burntfen.com">website</a>, his <a class='website' href="https://github.com/RichardLitt">github</a>, his <a class='website' href="https://twitter.com/richlitt">twitter</a>, and his <a class='website' href="http://theuserisdrunk.com">professional drinking problem</a>.</i></p>

<p> • <b>Is this related to <a class="nodecoration" href="http://theuserisdrunk.com">The User is Drunk</a>?</b> <i>Yes. Richard set that up, and then figured there was a niche here. Richard's mom has too much on her plate; Scotty asked his, and here we are.</i></p>

<p> • <b>How did you convince your mom?</b> <i>I told her Richard was tired of getting drunk for money. And I told her I'd split the money with her.</i></p>
<p> • <b>Can I pay your mom to review a porn site?</b> <i>Dude, no. I'll refund your money if I'm too embarrassed to show your site to her.</i></p>
<p> • <b>Will you post her screencasts publicly?</b> <i>Yes.</i></p>
<p> • <b>Why did the price go up?</b> <i>Supply and demand. This is a lot of work!</i></p>
<p> • <b>My mom would be perfect for this - can I sign her up?</b> <i>Not at the moment! But good thinking.</i></p>
<br />

<hr style="width:30%"/>

  <p class='footnotes'>Richard also reviews websites while both <a href="http://theuserisdrunk.com">drunk</a> and <a href="mailto:richard@theuserismymom.com" >sober</a>. If you're interested in that, please get in touch.</p>

<p class='footnotes'><i>Think of my mom like your mom, but with a bit more tough love, and no offers of milk and cookies while you're working. Actually, speaking of offers, let's be clear; my mom will review your website. She will not give a 100% comprehensive review. She may miss some things. She will probably get distracted. Richard or I will be helping her review the site, making sure she has someone to ask questions so she doesn't get too mired in your unusable website. We promise to make sure at least some of the feedback is insightful. We will promise not to hurt any animals in the process. She may review Facebook, Twitter, or the internet at large by accident while reviewing your website - we're sorry. And for the record, no, she will not be drunk. Probably. </i></p>

<p class='footer'>Contact: <a href="mailto:richard@theuserismymom.com" class='website'>richard@theuserismymom.com</a></p>

<p class='footer'>Made at <a class="website" href="http://hackerparadise.org">Hacker Paradise</a>.</p>